[Durham INC] A perfect storm, Carl Kenney

[Christine Chamberlain]

PS: My previous post wasn't about "hair styles".  
 
 To the gal who wrote privately saying 'the way you wear your hair is covered under the freedom of life, liberty and the persuit of happiness'...
 
A friend of mine from my college days is a brilliant nuclear scientist.  He stayed at the same university to get his bachelor's, masters and PhD.  During all 10 years, he wore the same hair style that he had in highschool.   Long, stringy and greasy.  10 years.  He used to complain that girls would never agree to go out with him.  He said he was smart, honest and had a lot going for him.  But why couldn't he get a date?  
 
I used to laugh at him, he was like a brother to me... to which he'd say "I'm sick of being everyone's brother!"  
 
When he started applying for jobs, he cut his hair, trimmed his beard and bought a suit.  He took a job as a professor at a state university in the midwest.  Guess what happened within a month after he found a new church?  (I attended his wedding the following year.)
 
To you who wish to have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness your own way, I say go for it!  But don't come complainin' to me if your choices make life difficult for you.  You want to wear dredlocks?  Fine.  You want greasy, stringy hair?  Fine.  Don't whine about it if your 'happiness' doesn't match what I look for when someone applies for a job.
 
Now twist this any way you want... for example, you could say he found a gold digger.  It had nothing to do with his hair.  Right?
 
Or how about, long stringy hair is not the same as dredlocks....
 
Or how about, he must have been white.  He found a girl because he was white.  
 
On and on we could go and Carl still won't have a job.  Because he would rather blame racism, rather than admit his personal choices to wear dredlocks and complain about racism like a broken record is why he can't get a job. 
 
I hope we can get over it one of these years, because there isn't enough money in all the world that will fix a perpetual victim.
 
"“If you are taught bitterness and anger, then you will believe you are a victim." ~ Condaleeza Rice
 
Christine Chamberlain
  

________________________________
 From: Christine Chamberlain <christinebbd at yahoo.com>
To: inc listserv <inc-list at durhaminc.org> 
Cc: "inc-list at rtpnet.org" <inc-list at rtpnet.org> 
Sent: Sunday, June 3, 2012 6:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Durham INC] A perfect storm, Carl Kenney
  

(To JoyMickleWalker and Ellen Whitaker,  There is a long string of messages in the archives, I think you may have missed the first part of a conversation with Carl regarding racism.  I recommend reading them so you can put these messages in the right context.)

Carl said, "I've tried to share my own struggles with living in Durham.  My point is this folks, if a black man with all I have to bring to the table can't make it in Durham, what does that say about others with less education and experience?  Is my own struggle due to race.  More than likely it's deeper than that, but, nonetheless, I'm part of that community.  What can be said about that?  Nothing other than a educatedblack man with a social agenda can't make it in Durham."  

(emphasis is mine)

You nailed it, Carl.  You have a social agenda.  It's the elephant on your back that takes over the room when you're applying for the job. (The following is said with love, like a sister hollering at her brother)  You choose to wear your hair in dredlocks, "daring" white folks to accept the way you look.  You fly in the face of logic and common sense, and then use the "racism" defense for why you can't get a job.  You're a mess Carl, and I'd like nothing better than to give you a hair cut, a swift kick in the butt, and say "quit whining!"  I've met too many successful black men in my lifetime to buy what you're sellin'.  


I waited a whole week before pressing you for an answer to the question I asked "how many white people not crossing the street will it take?"   I waited so I could ask 3 friends of mine, all black males (a doctor at Duke, an accountant and an electrical engineer) to give feedback on your emails over the last couple weeks.  Each one said, and I'm paraphrasing, "He's spinning his wheels, that's all he'd doing.  He's stuck like a broken record."  The doctor at Duke said it the best when he told me Condaleeza Rice's quote....

“If you are taught bitterness and anger, then you will believe you are a victim." ~ Condaleeza Rice

Carl, I hope you'll get all you dreamed and more, as you move to a new location.  I really hope you'll find the success you long for.  


Christine Chamberlain
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